In the hundreds of mediations I've participated in, I've seen many ways in which mediators conduct themselves—many of which did not sit well with the participants. Understanding and avoiding these poor approaches is crucial for a successful mediation experience.
1. Dictating the Process and Outcome: A mediator who dictates what can be said, when it can be said, and the outcome leaves parties feeling bullied and unsatisfied. Mediation is meant to be a collaborative process where each party's voice is heard and respected. You came to mediation to have a say in the resolution, not to be told what the resolution will be.
2. Not Keeping Pace with the Parties’ Tempo: It's frustrating when mediators either rush through important issues or drag out discussions unnecessarily. Repeating the same points or focusing on irrelevant issues can stall progress. Effective mediators recognize when parties have narrowed down the issues and adjust their pace accordingly, keeping the mediation moving forward efficiently.
3. Ignoring Anyone Who Seeks to Be Heard: One of the most disheartening experiences in mediation is feeling ignored. Mediators who don't listen to all parties fail in their role to facilitate a fair and balanced discussion. They also miss key drivers of the dispute, leading to disappointing outcomes. Everyone deserves to be heard and acknowledged in the process, allowing the parties to craft a resolution that is tailored to their specific goals.
You deserve a mediation experience where your concerns are respected, your tempo is matched, and your voice is heard. Choose a mediator who facilitates a collaborative approach, tailored to the issues and parties at hand. No dispute is the same, so your mediator must be nimble and adept at reading the room. These qualities ensure a more satisfying and effective resolution process.